


Stronger than the Past

by GeneralWinter



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Graphic Description, Harry Lives, Hurt Harry, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Past Rape/Non-con, Pissed off Kingsman
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 16:12:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3735259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeneralWinter/pseuds/GeneralWinter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was only when Harry was able to get a good look at the man’s face, that he couldn't stop the choked off whimper that escaped.<br/> OR Eggsy's not the only one who has had someone try to ruin their life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stronger than the Past

**Author's Note:**

> So I've read a lot of fanfics with Eggsy being the one who almost gets rapes, or was raped in the past, or est. And not that I'm complaining, cause ya, I love hurting my favorite characters, as long as there is a happy ending anyway. But I realize that there are no fics yet with Harry being the one who almost or does gets sexually assaulted. And really, rape has no age to it, it's all about power, and I've heard of people being as old as 96 who get assaulted. So I thought, why not do a fic where it's Harry who gets attacked this time instead of it being Eggsy. So, this is actually my very first fic, so please, please let me know what you think, and any advice you might be able to offer me. It's taken me like a month to write this, but I'm hoping that it'll get a bit easier the more I practice. So ya, hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think. Thanks :)

 

   The club beat with noise and people, even sitting at the bar drinking his Martini he could feel the pulse.  He was wearing dark grey pants with just a simple white shirt with the top two buttons undone around the neck. His regular outfit would have stuck out like a sore thumb, but the casual formal outfit worked, though it did make him feel under-dressed.  He wondered what Eggsy would have said if he could have seen him like this. And had to fight the blush down when he felt his face start to heat up. Thinking about Eggsy on a mission was a good way to get distracted, though it would be a nice distraction.  Eggsy had given him one hell of a welcome back kiss when he had finally made it back to headquarters.  While he was happy with the fact that his hidden feelings for Eggsy were returned, he made sure to keep the relationship slow. He loved Eggsy, but Eggsy was still young and there was a small part of him that was waiting for Eggsy to get tired of him. He took a sip from his glass, and shoved those thoughts to the back of his mind.  Thinking about relationships during a mission was frowned on, not to mention he felt like a silly high school girl freaking out about whether a boy liked her or not.

The club was getting to the point of being just a little to overcrowd, where bumping into people when moving would become unavoidable.  Not that it made a difference; on the country it made his job just that much easier.   He sat for another 4 minutes on the dot, just after slipping the listening device onto a pretty young lady who they suspected to be involve with some unsavoury sort.  Have the techs listen in, and then decide where to go from there.  Over all a simple and easy mission, the only one Merlin would let him do now that he was Author.  But, it let him stretch his legs and he already knew the look and lecture Merlin would give him if he complained.  Being scolded like a child as Merlin went over why important heads of organization were meant to be safe and not running around in life and death mission, was not fun.  They had already lost one Author, not that the old bastard didn't deserve it, but losing another one in less than a year was just bad form.  Or so Merlin liked to claim, he had learned by now to just nod his head and let Merlin have his say.

He pushed money onto the bar top, and started to make his way to the door.  Only, on the fourth or fifth step, the room gave a lunch. He swayed, and it was only by grabbing onto the end of the bar that he didn't end up flat on his face.

“Shit” Considering he’d had only two glasses of alcohol, this wasn't a good sign.

“Arthur?” 

“Merlin, it would seem that my drink was drugged” Harry lowered his head, and tried to take a look around the bar for anyone who might be watching him.  He shut his eyes for a second as the room gave another spin, the room felt too stifling, and he was starting to feel shaky. Fast acting then, not good.  They were probably waiting for him to be out of it before they decided to grab him, lovely. 

“Fucking bar tender, must have slipped me something in my drink.” Can’t even trust bar tenders, what was the world coming too? He felt his heart rate increase, but he forced his breathing even, this wouldn't be the first time he’s been drugged. 

“I'm calling for backup, but they’re going to be 20 to 30 minutes out.” Merlin’s voice sounded calm in his ear; as long as he had the glasses on Merlin could keep track of him. Backup was a bit long, but then this was supposed to have been an easy operation.  He couldn't help the sigh as he realised that at this rate Merlin was never going to let him out of his office.

He took another look around the room, and let his eyes scan the area.  And... There, a man coming up a bit on his right ahead, looking right at Harry with a cocky smile and confident steps.  He made sure to get a good look at him for Merlin.  He looked to be around his late 40’s, tall, a few inches taller than Harry himself, jeans and a nice dark blue shirt that went well with his light tan;  He was broader in the shoulders, with dark hair that was artfully done to give him a well fucked look.  It was only when Harry was able to get a good look at the man’s face, that he couldn't stop the choked off whimper that escaped.

 For a moment, his memories surged up and almost drowned him -  _hands holding him down on a bed, him being to week , to confused to fight the man above him off, hands bruising his hips and-_

_**“Harry!?!”** _

Merlin’s voice was sharp as it cut across his mind, giving him the clarity to shove his memories down.  He wanted to replay back, but the man, Matthew had already made it to his side. He didn't need to look to know what he would see, dark grey eyes, a sharp nose, a wide thin mouth, that when in a smile would show off perfect white teeth.  A handsome face, a face he would have at one time kissed lovingly.

“No”

He stumbled back; his legs shook and then gave out.  He gasped as the room moved and for a second he was afraid he was going to faint.  He looked up at Matthew from the floor, and for a moment his vision was nothing but a blur.  He tried to focus, tried to remember that he was a Kingsman, an agent, he had training, he-

“I think you've had one too many Harry.”  He tried to jerk back, tried, but he felt weak, and his vision was blurry around the edges, and he  _couldn't get away_. Matthew bent down, took a hold of his arm which he then threw over his wide shoulders and Matthews other arm went around his waist.  With a pull, he had Harry back onto his feet and with his arms he pulled Harry close. And he knew that it would look like a friend helping a drunk friend out, but the arm around his waist was too tight, and he tried to struggle, wanted to get away, wanted to never see this man again,  _and God why-_

“Come on Harry, out we go” Matthews voice was a bit to loud to be natural, not that anyone would notice.  Matthew’s head came down towards his, and Harry tried to glare at him, tried to look stronger then how he felt.  But whatever had been in his drink was working at keeping him feeling as weak as a new born kitten that he doubted he could do anything other than glare.  And considering Matthew’s cocky smile, he knew it too.

“Why hello Harry,” Matthew purred in his ear.  Harry bit his lip as he felt Matthews breath ghost across his ear and the arm at his waist tighten to almost a painful hold.

“What are yo, you plass-playsing-” the words started to slur and tumble, and he bit his lips trying to get his thought back in order.

“And that would be the drug, don’t try to talk now I already have a feeling I know what you’re trying to say.  I have to tell you I almost didn't believe my eyes when I saw you at the bar.  I tried looking for you when I got out of prison, and yet you had disappeared right off the face of the earth.  So you can’t imagine the _shock”_ his arm tightens around Harry at this  _“_ I felt when I saw you just sitting at the bar. I have so many things I want to talk to you about, Harry.  Like,  _did you really think I wasn't going to fuck you up when I got out for what you did?”_  Matthew snarled into Harry ear at the last part. He kept them walking through the club, with his arms around Harry like steel.

 Matthew walked them both out of the club, the sound cutting off as the door shut behind them.  The people who were milling around in the street ignored them; the site of a friend helping another drunken friend out of a bar was nothing unusual. The cold night air hit them, and Harry couldn't help the shiver that went through him; and tried not to flinch back as Matthew gave him a cocky smile and pulled him closer. There was a taxi pulled up to the curb, Harry pulled back or tried too, but it felt like his limbs were made out of lead and Matthew kept a steady hold on him. 

 “Try anything funny and I’ll make you regret it.” He glared up, or tried to as the world around him did a little twisty turn.  He knew it was useless, that he wouldn't be able to fight Matthew off, not while the drugs still swam in his blood.  He wanted to cry out, but a part of him was scared of what Matthew might do.  And he hated this the most, that Matthew was able to turn him into nothing but a terrified child.  That even after everything he had done, after everything he had learned, that just by seeing Mathews face, had caused him to freeze up, to have him almost at the point of panic.

Matthew strolled up to the taxi with Harry at his side and shoved him in.  He was pushed to the side as Matthew climb in, and then Matthews arm came up and around and curled around Harry’s shoulders, so that he was leaning right into Matthew.   The door to the taxi shut loudly, and it rang in Harry’s ear, leaving him feeling cut off.  The space felt small with just him and Matthew in the back-seat of the taxi.

“Accor Hotel, up on 148 ST, if you please.  My friend here has had a bit too much to drink it would seem”  The taxi driver nodded after giving Harry a long look, probably trying to see what the odds were of him throwing up in the guys taxi. 

Harry tried to once again to shove Matthew away, only to have Matthew jerk the arm around his shoulders.  He felt Matthew’s hand dig into his side, while Matthew gave him a warning look.

 “I've sent the address to Lancelot and Galahad, they’re on their way.” Merlin’s voice was tight with controlled emotion; Harry was a bit confused about that till he realizes that Merlin was probably worried about Harry’s reaction to Matthew.  Harry was always calm and controlled; whimpering at the sight of a man was something that he had never done before.   For a moment he felt hot shame, and a part of him was scared at what Roxy and Eggsy would find out,  _what they might see_ , when they rescued him. He closed his eyes, he would just have to wait and hope they made it to him quickly.

He lost track of time, and wasn't sure if it was due to the drugs or to the fact that he couldn't seem to be able to focus on anything other than keeping his terror at bay. He gave another jerk when the taxi stopped, and realized that at some point he had closed his eyes.  He tried to focus, but the world swam in and out of focus, and he felt muggy, like he had been up for too many hours.  He felt panic clawing at him, he knew what was coming and yet he couldn't seem to think straight on how to get himself out of this situation.  He tried to get a good look at where they were when Matthew got him out of the car; he shook his head when his vision kept going in and out.  The taxi had dropped them off right at the entrance of a fancy hotel, and Matthew once again had Harry firmly at his side.

“Almost there now Harry, just a little bit longer and then we can have some fun.”

 Matthew walked them inside, or well dragged Harry inside as Harry’s legs decided that walking was too much effort.  He felt his feet stumble, and he tried to make it harder for Matthew, but Matthew was still just as strong now as he was back then.  He pulled Harry’s arm that he had over his shoulders, and Harry was lifted up some more, so that his feet barely touched the ground.  He shoved open the doors to the reception area, and then they were walking past the receptionist.  He felt dizzy and kind of numb as to what was going on around him, like he was just a bit out of touch with reality. But there was still a part of him that was still aware enough to realize what Matthew had plan for when they reached his rooms. He opened his mouth, maybe to beg for help, to scream, or to - 

 “ _ **Don’t you dare throw up on me**_   _ **now**_   _ **Harry, not when we’re almost there!**_ Sorry, old friend, bit of a lightweight but doesn't want to admit it.” Matthew gave a disarming smile to the girl working at the desk, who gave a giggle.

“One of my girlfriends is just like that too; never able to tell when she’s reached her limit.”

Matthew gave a charming laugh and Harry watched as Matthew charmed his way through the waiting area and had them right at the elevator, where there was one already there and waiting.  He had them in the elevator going up, and the minute the door’s shut, Harry was shoved against the metal walls.  His head gave a small bang and before he could slide down Matthew pressed himself up against Harry, and then he was kissing Harry. Harry closed his eyes, he had been kissed before, and he would never call what Matthew was doing a kiss.  Matthew turned something that was supposed to be about love into something about power and control, somehow it made it worse. He shut his eyes and tried to ignore how it felt, how he could taste Matthew, how Matthews lips were wet and there was a hint of beer from the bar, and he wanted to jerk back because it was  _wrong, so wrong_. He had training, but he couldn't seem to remember any of it, couldn't bring himself to do something, anything to stop this from happening.  A part of him wondered if this was all just a dream, cause it was starting to feel that way, a very bad dream.  Matthew broke the kiss off almost tenderly, and moved back a bit. Harry couldn't help himself from slumping up against the wall; his legs were shaking and he knew that if Matthew was to let him go, his legs wouldn't have the strength to keep him standing.

“What did I tell you?  I'm going to make you pay for that little stunt back there.”

Matthew gave a smile and then grabbed Harry and once again he felt himself being forced up against Matthew’s side. He wanted to fight, wanted to run, but he felt like ice was going through his veins cause he knew what was going to happen, and he didn't have the strength to fight him off. Harry tried to make sure to keep an eye on the floor number so that Roxy and Eggsy would know where to go, but his head spun and he had to keep blinking and forcing himself to pay attention.  He could see him and Matthew’s reflection on the metal walls of the elevator, and he hated how weak he looked, with Matthews arms holding him up, and his head drooping. He bit the inside of his lip using the pain to gather some strength and when the elevator gave a ding at their floor he jerked his head to see what level they were at. Level 6, he only had a moment to look. And then Matthew had them walking out of the elevator.  At this point Harry felt his legs give out, and Matthew jerked him back up.  With Matthew carrying all his weight, not that Harry was in a hurry to help him, he had them walking down a hallway that turned to the right.  It was at a door numbered 568 that they finally came to their destination.

“Hold tight Harry, 15 minutes tops” Merlin’s voice sounded small by his ears.

Matthew swiped a card, and with a flourish, opened the door to a wide open hotel room. With dark green carpet, a short hallway and then a wide area that held a bed and a TV.  He didn't get much time to look, as Matthew dragged him through the hallway, and then shoved him down onto the floor right in front of the bed.  Harry tried to get his arms underneath him, to get up, fight back, but Matthew jerked him onto his stomach.  He gasped as Matthew’s hands grabbed his arms and bent them behind his back,

_NO NO No - nononononono,_

Felt Matthews fingers dig into his arms. He tried to buck him off, but he couldn't get the strength that he needed, and he heard Matthew moving around for a moment. He felt leather,  _a belt_ , his mind whispered, and felt it start to wrap around his arms. He tried to pull his arms away, but Matthew gave a laugh and just held on tighter.   There was a sharp pull, click and more pulling as Matthew finally seemed to finish.  Felt Matthew get off, and Harry felt himself go limp.  He couldn't, he didn't have the strength. 

“I’ll be right back hon, so just stay there for a moment,” Harry lifted his head of the floor from where he was laying on his side at the moment. And then dropped his head back down as dizziness assaulted him again. At least the terror had seemed to help clear his head a bit, though his thoughts still felt a little muddled.  He tried pulling his arms to see if he could maybe loosed the belt around them, but there was no give. He watched as Matthew made his way over to the hallway that they had just passed, and watched as he open the side door in the hallway and went in.  He strained his ears to listen, and only heard running water.  Bathroom probably, maybe wanting to do the wet towel drowning technique.  A bit of a nasty one, but one he would take over,  _over-_

Harry closed his eyes, fought the panic  _down,_  and tried to keep his breathing even and calm.  It felt like the room was slowly spinning, closing in around him, and he bit his lip hard till he tasted blood, hoping the pain would help keep him grounded. This was not the time to lose his head in a panic.

“Roxy and Esggy are on their way, just keep calm and they’ll be able to get you out. You know the drill, keep the mark distracted and talking till backup gets to you and puts a bullet in their fucking head for you.” Merlin’s voice was calm and had a bit of an order in it.  And he did know, been kidnapped before and all that.  He wanted to tell Merlin he was fine, that he knew backup would get him out of this, and quite easily too.  It wasn't like this was an evil hideout with tons of armed guards between him and freedom.  And yet, seeing Matthew had thrown all of his training out the window. He could feel the panic trying to take over, his heart beating like a drum in his chest. 

Matthew chose this moment to come back out of the side room, with a glass of water in his hand, and a small knife in the other. Watched as he got closer, and with a flick of his wrist-

Harry gasped as ice cold water hit his face, the cold was a bit of a shock to how hot he had been feeling. He felt the water dripping down his face and he could feel the water on his neck and shirt collar. He blinked a few times to get the water out of his eyes, and the moment he had taken to get his bearings back was long enough for Matthew to end up leaning over him. Matthews hand came up and griped his hair, and then he was pulling Harry up off the ground so that he was sitting more on his side.  Harry could only watch as Matthew leaned in and started kissing him. He could feel Matthew try to deepen the kiss, felt Mathews hand tighten on his hair, felt Matthew open his mouth in the kiss, and Harry  kept his mouth shut, tried to ignore the way Matthew licked at his lips, and Harry  _Couldn't stop the muffled scream against Matthews’s lips as agony raced down his thigh!!_  He screamed and then gasped into the kiss, and felt Mathews tongue lick inside his now open mouth.  Harry tried to pull back, but Matthew followed while still keeping them attached. Harry only had a moment or two, and before he could even think about biting down on Matthews tongue, Matthew was swallow another scream that Harry couldn't stop as the knife that was now in his thigh gave a twist. He could feel Matthew smiling into the kiss, smiling at the fact that Harry was gasping in pain.  Matthew stayed for another moment kissing him, though he had stopped French-kissing him, and then finally leaned back.  Harry gave a sharp cry as Matthew finally pulled the small knife out of his thigh.

 _“Ahck, ahh ha.”_  Harry tried to stop the gasps of pain, tried to stop his chest from heaving.

  “There we go, thought it might help to wake you up a bit. Want to make sure you get the full experience.”  Harry blinked and realized that Matthew was correct.   Harry still felt weak, but where his thought had been fuzzy, they were now clear, not that it did any good.

Matthew gave him a slow smile.

“You look just as good now as you did back then.”  Matthews hand came up to cup his cheek, and Harry couldn't help it as he flinched back.

“Fuck you” Harry spat out, trying to cover up his moment of weakness.

“No, I plan to be fucking you, Harry.”

 _No, No not again, not by him again, not-_ Harry tried to keep calm, tried to force his fear down, tried to not let Matthew  _see, but his breath was coming in to fast-_  he knew it was useless, could see it in Matthews face that Matthew knew how scared he was, terrified really.

“I'm not sure which one I like better, the betrayed confused look you had back then or this fearful one you have now.” Matthew’s hand, the one that griped his hair tightens painful as he jerked Harry’s face up so that they could see eye to eye, and for a moment rage clouded Matthew’s eyes.

“While I was wasting away in that fucking cell, the only comfort I had was the thought of seeing you again, and what I would do to you.  Do you remember  _Harry_? The look on your face when you realized that I had played you for the last couple of months, that everything had been a lie. That betrayed, hurtful look, like the rug had just been pulled underneath you.   You should feel proud you know, you were the one who took the longest and most work to get you to invite me to your bed.  And then the look on your face, the confusion as I told you the truth right before I fucked you  _was fucking hilarious_.  Are you going to beg me to stop and try to fight me off again as I rape you? Cause I've fantasised about this so many times, you have no _clue_  what I've got planned for you. And hearing you scream will be like music to my ears.”

For a moment he could only look up at Matthew. He felt cold and trapped and could feel the panic trying to grip him, but he shoved it down with all his will and he forced himself to look at Matthew. Cause  _Fuck this_ , he was not going to beg, not this time, not ever again, least of all to him. 

“If”  he chocked out, forcing his lips into a smirk “if we’re talking about expressions on people’s faces and how funny they can be, then I must say that the expression on yours when the police put you in handcuffs was one I found to be quite amusing. Mind you, even I was shocked at how much drugs the police found on you, and I was the one to point them in yo-“

He gave a yelp as the side of his face burst into hot pain as Matthew slapped him violently to the side, and he would have tumbled back to the ground if it wasn't for the hand that Matthew kept in his hair. Harry licked his lips, the slap had been painful but he’d had a lot worse.  He shut his eyes for a moment, the room was still doing a bit of a spin, but he could ignore it at this point.

 He sucked in a breath, and blinked back up at Matthew, he made sure to keep the smirk in place.

“You fucking good for nothing  _Slut_. Do you have any idea what you did!?!  I had a future!!” Matthews other hand that had just slapped Harry came up and griped his chin, forcing Harry’s head back up. “Everything was planned out; I had a life waiting for me right after collage.  I was going places, and then because of you, I lost everything. Do you have any idea what you did? Because of you,” he spat “I spent years in prison, and when I got out, I had to start over.  Worse than over, as I now had a criminal record, and people don’t quite trust you with a criminal record. I swore I was going to get back at you, and well, look at where we are now.”

Matthew’s eyes narrowed, and then his face, which had been in an expression of rage cleared back to its cocky smile.  His hand that had been holding Harry’s chin slowly, sensually moved up and around his face, so that he was now cupping Harry’s face like a lover might. He smiled, but it was filled with cruelty, it was the same look that Matthew had given him the first time, right before- he forced the words out of his mouth.

“What were you hoping for Matthew? Figured that I would just hideaway in shame and leave you alone? If you thought that I wouldn't find a way to get back at you, then you really are an idiot.  Did you honestly thought I was just gong to disappear from your life after what you did? You really didn't know me at all if you think I was just going to lie down and let you have your fun with me and then throw me away like garbage. All that time you spent playing pretend, at how you loved me and you didn't know me at all, showed have at least guessed that I would find a way to get even.  And would you look at that, I did- _oof!”_

Matthews hand dug into his arm as he was roughly pulled to his feet and then promptly thrown onto the bed.  Harry bounced on the bed and sheets, and then Matthew was looming over him, his legs between his own legs and his hands holding his shoulders down.  He had a moment of panic before he felt Mathews hand move to grip the side of his face and then Matthew’s lips close over his.  Matthew kissed with bruising force, sucking and biting and all about taking, and it felt gross, disgusting, and  _he really wanted to throw up_. He felt Matthew’s lips leave his and he gasped for breath, trying to jerk his head to the side. He felt Matthew’s soft laugh against his ear before Matthews tongue was licking around his ear.  Could feel Matthew sucking on his ear lobe, and then Matthew was leaning over him some more, so that more of his weight was on Harry. Harry could feel the breath in his lungs freeze as he felt the hardness of Matthew pressing into his hip, and for a moment Harry wanted to cry at how hopeless he felt. Harry shut his eyes tightly and couldn't stop the stuttered gasp and _“N-No_ ” that slip past his lips.

Matthew gave a low heat filled moan against Harry’s ear and then gave a small thrust against him,

“You’re going to feel so good, just like last time.  Do you remember? Holding you down, thrusting into you as you struggled to get away? Going to be just like old times.”

Matthews hand jerked his face to the far side; he felt his fingers gripping his chin, holding his head in place. Felt Matthew bend over and started to lick and suck at his neck, moving slowly down till he got to his collar bone.  He bit the inside of his cheek till the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth to prevent any more sounds, because this was happening to him. He swore never again, and yet here he was, once again playing the victim, and to Matthew of all people.

Matthew stopped kissing for a moment, and sat back up.  There was a pause, and then Matthew’s hands flew to Harry’s shirt, took hold and then gave a violent tug to the sides.  Harry gave a flinch as his buttons all popped off and went flying, and his shirt became wide open.  Matthew took a long look over Harry’s flat stomach and firm muscles.  Harry was no body builder, but he made sure that he kept in shape, leaning more toward mobility and speed then brute strength.  Matthew gave a long and slow look up and down him, which made Harry feel like bugs were crawling all over him.  And then he gave an impressed whistler.

“Tell me Harry, what sweet ass are you trying to impress?’ I hope you did the right thing and let them know they were buying used goods.”

“Y-You don’t know a dam thing about me so why don’t yo- _Aahhg!!”_

Matthew’s teeth sunk deep into the side of his neck, right where it met his shoulder.  Felt the skin tear as Matthew jerked his teeth, deepening the bite and sucking at the blood that rose to the surface.  He gasped for breath, and felt himself tense, it _hurt_. Matthew kept at it for a few more minutes, which Harry chocked back any more cries of pain.

“Seems I still know how to make you cry out, let’s see if I can get a full blown scream out of you again.”

He gave one last lick to his neck, and then started to move down.  He went over his chest slowly, licking, sucking and biting.  It felt like slugs were crawling over him, made him feel disgusting and dirty.  He tries to struggle, but Matthew’s hands kept him firmly pressed to the bed.  His head spins, and he wonders if he could go into that mindset where things happen to you, but you’re not there. He feels Matthews fingers start to undo the button on his pants, and Harry tries to twist and jerk his legs up, only to bite his lip in pain as one of Matthews’s hands grabs the leg that he had stabbed earlier and  _squeezed._  Matthew pauses and then looks right at Harry. 

“You ruined my life, so now I'm going to ruin you, just like I did back then. How long did it take you to get over it Harry? Tell me, do you still have nightmares about this, or did you figure that you were safe?  I'm going to enjoy making you relive every moment from back then, and I'm going to make it so much worse. You’re going to wish you were never born Harry.”

Harry could see Matthew was enjoying this, milking Harry’s terror for all it was worth. But Matthew had it wrong.  Because after what Matthew had done, Harry had wanted to curl up and die. Had wanted to hide away from the world, had even thought of killing himself at his lowest.  But, as he had told Matthew earlier, he wasn't the type of person to let people use him without getting even.  So he had sworn to not let Matthew ever have the satisfaction of ruining his life, and had forced himself to look forward and keep walking, per say.  So Harry didn't bother to stop the laughter that bubbled out of him, took great joy in laughing in Matthew’s face; Even if his laughter had a ring of hysterical to it.  Cause Matthew had it wrong, so wrong.

“You didn't ruin my life.  After you, I swore I would never be someone’s victim again, so I went out and joined every single self defence and fighting class I could think of.  Found out that I had a talent for it, and so I kept at it till I was the best. My dedication and skill impressed a person of importance and he got me a job interview which I passed.  You have no idea how much I love my job and the life I got from it. And it’s because of you that I went to those classes in the first place, which got me noticed.  So you didn't ruin me, in a way, it’s thanks to you that I'm here now. It’s a shame that the same thing can’t be said about your life.  Cause I really did ruin your future.  Funny how these things wor-“

Harry would have gone on, would have thrown everything back in Matthew’s face.  But Matthew’s face had twisted into such rage, and Harry tried to scoot back, useless he knew, but he couldn't help himself as he tried to get away.  But Matthew was already surging up so that Matthew was straddling him, and Harry couldn't do anything as Matthew wrapped his hands around Harry’s throat and tighten.

_“You fucking bitch!!  I'm going to fuck you over and over, until you’re nothing but a crying cum splattered mess. I'm going to use you, and I'm going to let my friends use you and even my dog use you till you’re begging me to kill you.  And even then I won’t let you go.  I’ll keep you locked up until Stockholm syndrome takes effect.  How long do you think that’ll take Harry?!  I’ll have so much fun seeing how long it takes before you start to fall in love with me.  Maybe I’ll kill you then, probably be bored of you at that point, -!”_

   Matthews hands tighten till Harry was choking, trying to gasp for breath _._  His head was jerked back from Matthews’s hands, and he pulled uselessly at his arms that were trapped underneath him. His vision started to get black spots, and he wondered if Matthew was going to end up choking him to death by mistake in his rage. The words that Matthew was yelling at him faded to white noise and all he could think was that he knew Eggsy was going to be pissed if-

And then everything got hectic.

There’s a load crack and bang, Matthew lets go, and Harry is too busy sucking in oxygen to really be paying attention to what’s going on around him.  There’s another bang, and Matthews’s weight is all of a sudden off him.  He ignores this, as he’s too busy gasping and making sure that he gets enough air that he doesn't faint.  He closes his eyes for a moment, and just savours the relief at being saved.

“Harry”

Harry jerks to the side, and there’s Eggsy standing there looking at him.  He see’s Roxy off to the side with her gun on Matthew, who has a red spot that’s getting bigger by the second at his shoulder.  It looks like he’s trying to beg Roxy to let him go or something, but his attention focuses on Eggsy whose right in front of him. He blinks, because Eggsy’s got this weird look on his face, and his hands give this twitter like he’s not sure where to put them.  But Harry ignores all this and focuses on Eggsy’s face, on his eyes, he has to know if this is going to make Eggsy think differently of him, less, cause Matthew’s words of damage goods are still there, and seeing pity like he’s broken, or, or-

Eggsy looks back at him firmly and doesn't look away.  Harry searches, but doesn't find anything that hints at the fact that Eggsy might think less of him.  He switches his eyes from Eggsy to Roxy, who seems to have shut Matthew up and is looking at him with concern.  When she sees him searching her face, she looks at him fully and lets him search her eyes.  He lets himself finally relax when her eyes show the same concern that Eggsy’s did, and nothing else. 

“Right, let’s get you free and out of here.  Cause I don’t know about you, but I'm thinking a nice glass of bear sounds good.”

Harry couldn't help the snort, and closed his eyes as he see Eggsy step towards him.  Felt Eggsy gently turn him to his side, so Eggsy could get better access to the belt, and then felt Eggsy start to cut the belt off.  The minute he felt the belt fall off, Harry was pushing himself into a sitting position on the bed. He rubbed at his arms, which were bright red and shiny. Oh, he had rubbed his arms raw from trying to escape.

“Thanks” Or that was at least what he tried to say, it came out a lot more scratchily then he had intended.

“Ya, maybe we should skip the talking till you can speak without me cringing, cause you sound just right awful. Feel like leaving?”

Harry nodded, he wanted out of this place, wanted to have a hot shower to get rid of this tainted feeling. He tried to ignore the part of him that knew from experience that a hot shower wouldn't fix it.  Eggsy was already gently, very gently when Harry breathed through his teeth at how tender his arms were,  putting Harry’s arm over his shoulder and with a nod to let Harry know whenever he was ready, Eggsy had them moving up. He sucked in breath as he put weight on his injured thigh, but while it did hurt like a son of a bitch, it was nothing serious.  Eggsy gives him a moment to get use to the pain, and while his legs shook, he was able to stand. He was leaning heavily on Eggsy, and his vision was still a bit blurry, but he was standing.

“How bad?” Eggsy’s voice was tight with emotion

“Hurts, but I can wait till we get back to base to get it looked at.”

 Eggsy gives him a look, probably to make sure that Harry wasn't making light of his injuries, which he might have a bit of a bad habit of doing now and then, and then he was leading them towards the door.  Harry stopped them right when they were going to pass Matthew.  Forced himself to look at Matthew, Matthew who was sitting at Roxy’s feet, face bunched up from pain due to the bullet wound at his shoulder.  Harry smiled, and looked Matthew right in the eye

“So much for being ruined” The words are clear sounding, if a bit on the sandpaper end.  Matthews face goes dark, not that it mattered, he lost.  And he knew it.  He turns his head to Eggsy, who’s looking at Matthew with such hate that for a second Harry’s afraid that Eggsy’s going to decide to go for his gun and shoot Matthew right there.  Not that he would complain, but he figured Merlin already has a plan for dealing with Matthew.  And speaking of Merlin,

“I've already got people heading your way to deal with Matthew. So just get Author back here ASAP.”

“Sounds like a plan to me”

Harry lets Eggsy take the lead, and just allows himself to drift.  He trusted Eggsy to be aware enough of their surroundings that he didn't have to worry about anyone or anything.  Though the pain had helped to clear his head, he was still drugged, hurt and coming down from an emotional roller-coaster didn't help matters; and he was at the point of crashing now, which meant that he was probably going to fall asleep as soon as he found a surface he could lay down at. This probably explained why he was shocked that Roxy was opening the back car door since he hadn't even realized that they had made it outside.  Eggsy was still holding him up, since Harry realized that he was putting all his weight on Eggsy without meaning to.

“Sorry about all this.”

“Don’t you fucking dare think about apologizing about this.  This is in no form your fault at all.  And I will be more than happy to slap some sense into you if you even think about going down that thought process.”

Harry blinked at Eggsy, who was giving him quite the look. He wanted to say something but Eggsy was already pushing him into the dark car.  Eggsy got in beside him, and Harry watched as Roxy got into the driver’s seat.  He felt the car start, and then was moving into traffic.  He shook his head and tried to keep himself awake, but he was slumping up against the car door, and his eyes kept closing despite his best efforts to keep them open.

“Christ Harry,”

Harry jerked as Eggsy garbed him around the shoulders and gently pushed him down till Harry was curled up on the seat with his head in Eggsy’s lap.

“Go to sleep Harry, you’re safe here, I’ll wake you up when we get there.”  He froze but Eggsy had a hand in his hair and was gently giving him a scalp message. And that was all it took for Harry to relax, to convince himself that he was safe. He was asleep in the next few seconds.

**Author's Note:**

> So just as a side note, I wanted to say that while I know that Harry is kick-ass and if anybody else had tried this, he probably would have been all sass like. But the thing about trauma, and past rapes are defiantly trauma, is that panic sets in and you can’t think straight. I've heard of people going back into places where they have been kidnapped and having full on panic attacks. Past rape victims going to court to testify against their attacker take all of their courage. So I wanted to put this down as Harry trying to deal with his panic and fighting against it as he tries to stay in control and remember his training. Hopefully this was OK. As I said, this is my very first fic I've ever written, so any mistakes you see are mine. There is going to be a second chapter, but this time it’s going to be done in Eggsy’s point of view. It’s probably going to be a while before it comes up, as I have it in my head, I just have to write it down. And since I'm still new at this, I'm pretty slow. But it will be up, I swear. Thanks. Oh, if anybody wants to use this idea, go ahead. Like I mention, there are a lot of fic’s where it’s Eggsy who gets attack, but not a lot of it being Harry. So if anyone wants to write a fic where it’s Harry who almost gets raped, go for it. The more the merrier. :) plus I'm evil and I love hurt Harry.


End file.
